November 9, 2012 ~ What is my motive?

The words of a whisperer are like dainty morsels,

And they go down into the innermost parts of the body.

Proverbs 26:22

Thoughts ~ Perhaps after this many years of life, you’d think I would not be learning new things still.  But I do every day and I appreciate the wisdom that God sends my way so much. Today my pastor spoke on gossip. He wasn’t looking forward to it all that much but since he has been taking the church through Proverbs 26, he needed to address verse 22. Surprising to him, he ended up enjoying his study on it and surprising to me, I learned something new and concrete that I could take home with me.

As a believer, I sense the Holy Spirit nudging me when I get too close to gossiping. However, it has always been a bit confusing to me if I want to share something I am concerned about over one friend with another friend. Sometimes I venture out and other times I just refrain from saying anything at all. I’ve been, quite honestly, a little skittish about it after being betrayed about some things I shared with a very close friend that was then thrown back in my face. 

However, every once in a while I do not use wisdom when I speak. My mouth opens before my brain engages and stops it from speaking. Just yesterday, my feelings about someone who un-friended me on Facebook jumped out of my mouth before I could stop them all. If she doesn't want to be friends, it's her loss, but I will not back away from or compromise the standards of my faith. I should have just shut my mouth but, oh no, I had to tell someone. To gather support? To get encouragement? Even when we are in the right for standing firm in our faith, it still stings a bit hurts when someone chooses to snub us. But does my mouth need to engage over these incidents? Not really. I am hopeless sometimes. I am learning though. Always growing into the mature woman God wants me to be.

Pastor Bob made the issue of gossip it so simple. He said to ask ourselves if what we want to share about another person has an unloving motive. Wow. So wise. Is my motive loving or unloving? Or am I being a backbiter who is delighting in the “dainty morsels” as they glide down into my heart? Or am I truly concerned about a person’s wellbeing? From this moment on, I will begin a heart check before I open my mouth about another person. I want to be a loving heart-whisperer. In the case above, I am concerned over this person's well being but I should still have kept my mouth sipped up.

I have always avoided people who love to trash others maliciously, but, I also need to be aware of the subtle whisperers as the New American Standard calls them. The King James calls them tale bearers. The New International Version calls them gossips. Whatever name they are given, I do not want to pass on a single thing unless my motive is purely out of love. I do not ever want to cause hurt to anyone intentionally.

My mom used to tell me that when you are around a person who talks hatefully about others they probably talk the same about you. And that people who do this have very low self esteems, even if they appear to be bold. They trash in order to build them selves up. Her wisdom has stayed with me forever. Thank you, Lord, for my Mom!

This is going to be harder than it sounds because, after all, we are human beings. We tend to want to chat about everything under the sun. But Pastor Bob brought a new guideline. Thank you, Lord, for Pastor Bob.

Action ~ So, what is your motive when you share news about someone? Is it pure? Does it have a loving spirit and a good motive?

*Think before you speak words that could pass for gossip.

*Avoid whisperers/slanderers/talebearers/gossips.

*If you hear some gossip, stop it right there. Don’t pass it on.

Prayer ~ Lord, I am so thankful for the words “unloving motive” today. It helps me to put my mouth in check. Help me to apply this to my life everyday for the rest of my life.

Trusting in the Lord,

Becky